Tamás Gomperz: Yankees, come here!

I will continue with the same theme: U.S.-Hungarian relations, but this time in a lighthearted way. I discovered a short and very funny opinion piece in HVG which I would like to share with those readers of  Hungarian Spectrum who haven’t yet mastered the intricacies of  the Hungarian language. I just hope that my limited skills as a translator will be sufficient to capture the flavor of this short spoof. The author is Tamás Gomperz, a regular at HVG. I might add that a lot of right-wingers and Jobbik voters don’t seem to have a sense of humor. When Mandiner republished it, its readership (which unlike the editorial board is anything but moderately conservative) accused Gomperz of all sorts of  evil intentions.

The quotation at the beginning of the article should be familiar to the readers since I cited it a couple of days ago. It is one of László Kövér’s ruminations. So, here goes.

American flag

* * *

YANKEES, COME HERE!

We would be okay without Europe but only if the Americans came instead

“If that is the future of the European Union, then it is worthwhile to contemplate that perhaps we should slowly, carefully back out.” It’s hard to remember the last time that this deeply tormented man said anything intelligible or did anything useful, but now it seems that at last he wants to change his doleful course. But one should not take him terribly seriously and nobody should worry about our speedy departure from the Union.

There are two moral considerations here. One is that most of the money that can be stolen comes from the Union, and we all know that one cannot heat the swimming pool with patriotism. The second is that Hungary’s departure from the Union is not in Moscow’s interest. On the contrary, the Russians would be not at all happy if the Trojan horse suddenly bolted from the fortress and found itself outside its walls.

As long as this remains the situation, we stay. Moscow pays because it has managed to acquire an agent; the Union pays because it is stupid. Meanwhile the prime minister is convinced that he is very clever and cunning because he can take advantage of both sides. Based on his pocketbook, his reckoning is pretty accurate, although that does not mean that he would hesitate even for a second if he had no other choice. Then he would quit without the slightest hesitation. So, all those who love Europe should hold their collective breath for two things: Hungarian foreign policy will still be conducted from Moscow and the European Union will remain as stupid in the future as it has been in the past.

Given the cast of characters, the prospects are good for both. On the other hand, it is worth contemplating that America managed to do more for Hungarian democracy in one week than all the European political leaders have in the last four years. Therefore, perhaps it would be useful to rethink the situation. Perhaps we should slowly retreat from all that vacillation over Europe. Instead we could perhaps beg for a real American occupation, colonization, protectorate, whatever. They didn’t come in 56, they can make up for it now. We will take over the constitution, M. André Goodfriend could be the nádor,* governor, or sheriff, we are open to all solutions. He could start immediately with a proclamation. Because it is a good thing that people representing our worst features can’t go across the ocean. Actually, it would be even better if someone would expel them from here. We can’t solve the problem alone.

So, as the saying goes: there is life outside the Union but one must swim farther.

*nádor/palatinus local representative of the king in Hungary

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Guest

At least this one is honest in what he wants. He wants a Goodfriend type as some sort of dictator or colonial viceroy to rule over Hungary. He probably knows that the “natives” will never elect an SZDSZ, MSZP or similar to lead Hungary. The solution to this in his mind, is obviously treason and inviting a foreign dictator who is much better suited to the ilk of this author.

But I am somewhat disappointed that he picked Goodfriend as colonial governor. Aristocratic and distant as he is, he is not in the top 100 000 most influential Americans, counting all the businessmen, government officials, military commanders and similar. At least he could have the decency to suggest someone who is a more high ranking in the system. Like the governor of a state or a senator.

Neu
Guest

OT:

At the anti-internet tax demonstration I just saw two people with a sign saying “Neutral Hungary”, ie. Hungary should leave NATO.

Beside the fact that this had nothing to do with the topic of the demonstration, it is very interesting because I haven’t really heard about anybody raising this idea until now (although it would not be out of place at Jobbik.)

Of course, in the context of the newly found Russian friendship this is not so surprising.

I feel that this is an overt beginning of efforts to convince Hungarian voters about “neutrality”, given that Austria and Finland are also neutral.

The Russian will not stop working for a moment and their efforts to flip Hungary are relentless. Unfortunately the minds have been already prepared by Fidesz.

Mind you, from Magyar Nemzet it seems any differences of opinions Orban and Simicska might have had, have been successfully sorted out.

Gergő
Guest

I don’t want to overvalue the demonstration, but given the circumstances I felt that it was well-organized and well executed, especially compared to the Tedd magadd szabaddá! demonstration at Blaha on the 23rd, which I thought was really weak, almost hopeless. People in attendance were clearly angry. Both with the tax and with the corruption of the government. Fidesz will surely introduce the tax in some form, but it was a demonstration of a disagreement, and it was clear that a lot of people are fed up with Orban. Of course, Budapest has always been the bűnös város, the sinful city where he’s much less successful so it doesn’t really count for Fidesz. But there is a reason why Orban will increase the salaries of security people by 30%. He is afraid and his advisors tell him that he should be more careful.

Ovidiu
Guest

“humourlessness” is very much one of the defining traits of fascists, and of fanatics in general.
You can notice this trait easily in the pictures of the SS officers and in those of the leaders of the inter-war far-rights movements- (say those of the Romanian leader of the Iron Guard, Zelea Codreanu).
You can see it in many of the propaganda pictures of Gabor Vona, his “pose”, or in all the pictures of Ayatollah Khomeyini : “An Islamic regime must be serious in every field. There are no jokes in Islam. There is no humor in Islam. There is no fun in Islam. There can be no fun and joy in whatever is serious”.

In turn, this feature is worth attention if you want to fight them and do counter-propaganda.Seriously.

Marcel Dé (@MarcelD10)
Guest

Ha, the Witz. They’ll never get it.

tappanch
Guest

OK. I am back from the demonstration. This was the largest crowd since January 2, 2012.

Most people were students – this is not surprising. InfoRadio, which is close to Fidesz, simply did not mention this demonstration, only the soccer hooligan demonstration hours earlier.

Klubradio reported 10 thousand – a ridiculous underestimation. If Orban’s CÖF had 1 million people a year ago [it did not], than there were 1 million today as well [not true either]. People filled the central part of Heroes’ square.

I learned today that a good slogan has three syllables, like “Orban takarodj” [go away], “mondjon le” [resign] and “diktator”. There were only scattered anti-Russian slogans.

Lots of people were throwing old keyboards at the Fidesz headquarters.

I saw only one skinhead, he shouted “gyújtsuk föl” [burn the building]

tappanch
Guest

Of course, there were absolutely no anti-Semitic slogans.

What people shouted was: “mocskos Fidesz” [dirty Fidesz]

Ron
Guest

Just returned from Videk. Stayed at family. They had only government approved channels. There was no mention of any demonstration today. Everything is nice in Paradise.

pippa
Guest

Skinhead Nazis wanting to burn buildings and André Goodfriend in the same crowd, that must have been some sight to behold!

Clearly the internet tax angered very diverse people!

Gergő
Guest
Dear Eva, what Fidesz will do (it already said it) is to say that the “tax will be paid by the service providers not by the consumer” just as with the transactional stamp duty (the transactional banking tax). The voters will be upset to see that their bad, foreign-owned service providers increased their service prices exactly by the amount of the government tax and they will hate such service providers. But that will be two months later when they will receive the first increased new invoice, until that they will completely swallow the idea that the tax isn’t paid by the consumer. In fact, I am surprised that this isn’t what fideszniks said from the beginning, or simply why Fidesz didn’t just increase the rate of the already existing utility tax, why did it have to introduce an entirely new tax? I just don’t get it. I am not optimistic about any retreat, not just because Orban never retreats, but also because it will be easy to break the demonstration as the next one will be on a work day. In any case, this was an important reminder of the simmering discontent. The strength of this was not in the… Read more »
Marcel Dé (@MarcelD10)
Guest

@tappanch: and, of course, nem hagyjuk.

The attendance was hard to tell. On József Nádor tér it seemed like ten thousands, but I think more people joined on Andrássy.

PS: there were a handful of nicely designed flags with the black & white heads of Viktor and Vladimir on an orange background.

@Gergő

It seemed very loosely organized to me, but it has its charms.

tappanch
Guest

@pippa

I saw a single skinhead only. I just heard on television that the soccer hooligans had announced “officially” that they have nothing to do with the anti-tax demonstration.
This is indeed true.

db
Guest
While I agree with Gomperz’s claim that in a single week the US has done more for Hungarian democracy than the EU over the past five years, and I’d like to think that I’m not a humorless fascist, I’m afraid I don’t find this article all that funny. In fact, I find this kind of talk a bit counterproductive, for two reason. First, because nothing is more widespread in opposition circles in Hungary than the illusion that the West will somehow help us, and I have on more than one occasion heard people express this hope in the form of jokes about American liberators and so on (one of those jokes that are rarely without a serious side). This is I think an idle hope, not only because the West is mostly ineffectual (certainly the EU is, and the US too has limited means at its disposal) and plagued with too many intractable problems to solve the mess in Hungary, but also because this daydream only reinforces the passivity of those fed up with this thoroughly rotten regime. Secondly, you can be sure that every single expression of hope for outside pressure or intervention is eagerly snatched up the pro-Fidesz… Read more »
Marcel Dé (@MarcelD10)
Guest

On twitter, Gov’t spokesman Zoltan Kovacs is accusing U.S. chargé d’affaires André Goodfriend of influencing the protesters… 🙂

tappanch
Guest

@Eva

Let me repeat what I wrote days ago. If there is a cap on consumers, but the providers have to pay the full tax, the internet providers will cancel the unlimited internet packages.

They will introduce “pay by GB” internet services, so the consumer will pay the entire tax, albeit indirectly.

julcsi
Guest

CÖF, Fidesz’ outsourced ‘civilian organization’ will hold a big demonstration against America.

America is not our friend and not our ally, says András Bencsik one of the chief organizers.

The anti-American propaganda will be turned up, as well as the anti-NATO, anti-EU and pro-Russia propaganda. Orban is so ready for a fight (well, fight doesn’t really cover it, this is a war now, even if not with guns or drones).

http://444.hu/2014/10/26/jon-jon-jon-bencsik-andras-bejelentette-az-uj-bekemenetet/

tappanch
Guest

@Eva

“this is a very dangerous game” – you are absolutely right. I remember Ceausescu’s stunned look in 1989 when he understood that the crowd he ordered to demonstrate for him turned against him.

Ovidiu
Guest
tappanch
Guest

@julcsi

Bencsik: “The Orban government cannot be replaced now or in the future.”

This is an open admission that Fidesz has introduced dictatorship in Hungary.

tappanch
Guest

Bencsik: [owner of Fidesz membership card #5, and Orban’s close friend]

US chargé d’affaires participated in the demonstration “to show that the US is willing to deploy the bloody scenarios like on Maidan square” [in Kiev].

Marcel Dé (@MarcelD10)
Guest

Yes, tappanch & julcsi, I just read Bencsik’s text on his Facebook page …

Ovidiu
Guest

Just for fun.
A friend of mine from Moldova who watches there the “Russia Today”-channel has just told me that one hour ago the news was that “Fascists in Budapest take to the streets to protest against the government”

tappanch
Guest

A comment from Bencsik’s facebook blog:

“Fuming about corruption is the privilege of the rich. But introducing the internet tax on the impoverished population, who cannot afford to go to the Balaton any longer and whose only entertainment is the internet is wrong and untimely. […] I participated on previous ‘peace marches’, but who would go to demonstrate that I love the internet tax and I am happy to pay it?”

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